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Some Common Signs and Causes of Relationship Anxiety
Some Common Signs and Causes of Relationship Anxiety

Experiencing some level of anxiety about your relationships, platonic or romantic, is normal. However, if you have prolonged feelings of insecurity, worry, and doubt or find that your anxiety is impeding the growth of your relationship, you may be dealing with relationship anxiety.

Read on to learn about relationship anxiety and what the common signs and possible causes are.

What is relationship anxiety? 

Relationship anxiety refers to anxiety around the stability and consistency of a relationship. It is often grouped with social anxiety disorder, which causes a fear of social situations and being judged by others.

Notably, relationship anxiety isn’t necessarily an indication of the strength of your relationship. You may be compatible with your partner and have a healthy relationship but still be plagued by worry and insecurity. If not dealt with, it can harm your relationship and mental health.

It is crucial to note that your anxiety may be well-founded if your partner gives you legitimate reasons to worry, such as crossing boundaries or being unresponsive.

Fear of commitment and vulnerability 

One common sign of relationship anxiety is a fear of commitment and vulnerability. If you are significantly uncomfortable with the thought of committing long-term and experience a tendency to push people away or end the relationship before it gets serious, you might be experiencing relationship anxiety. 

Staying silent about your needs and desires

Healthy relationships are built on clear communication and trust. However, individuals with relationship anxiety find it difficult to be upfront and fear that honesty may drive their partner away.

Questioning your partner’s motives

If you are experiencing relationship anxiety, you may doubt your partner’s love for you and worry that they will find someone “better”. You may constantly obsess over small details and wonder if your partner will break up with you for them.


When you are in a state of relationship anxiety, you constantly worry about the “hidden” message behind your partner’s words and actions. For example, your partner may limit public displays of affection, causing you to feel that they don’t actually like you when it might simply be a matter of preferences and privacy.

Constantly checking on your partner 

Are you constantly worried about what your partner is up to? Do you feel the need to know where they are at all times? If you are anxious about your partner all the time and feel most comfortable when you’re able to keep tabs on them, you may have relationship anxiety.

Possible causes of relationship anxiety

Relationship anxiety does not necessarily mean that your relationship is unhealthy. Most of the time, it results from your insecurities and past experiences.

For example, low self-esteem may cause you to project your self-doubt onto your partner. When you’re unhappy with yourself, you may have a distorted perception of your relationship and thus believe your partner is also dissatisfied.

Relationship anxiety may also stem from early childhood experiences. If you lacked support from your caregivers in the past, you may develop an anxious attachment style and worry that your partner wants to leave the relationship.

Past relationship experiences can also contribute to the problem. If a previous partner has cheated on you or lied about their feelings, it might be difficult to trust someone again.

Additionally, general anxiety may manifest as relationship insecurity.


If you or your partner relate to any of the abovementioned signs, it is crucial to seek professional guidance. Therapy can be highly beneficial, providing a safe space to work through your emotions and experiences and helping you maintain a healthy relationship.

If you are seeking private counselling online in Singapore, check out Executive Counselling. We provide individual counselling sessions. We also offer career counselling for professionals, infidelity counselling, and marriage counselling.